Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize