dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
