Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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