dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
