Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
