I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize