Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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