I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
