you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
