I cockslap morals
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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