your parents love me but you hate me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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