Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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