gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
