just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
did i walk over a car last night?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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