is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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