my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
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