she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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