I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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