take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
They took my balls.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
