I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
should my penis look like a turkey
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize
