escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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