he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize