Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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