I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
