Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
