WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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