she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
