Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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