Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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