Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
