He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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