Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet

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(209): View more from California

do you want me to make hamburgers?

(541): View more from Oregon

i'm vegan

(209): View more from California

i'll put lettuce on them

Fav 37 8009 1394
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(845): View more from New York

First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...

Fav 39 1309 4649
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(850): View more from Florida

From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.

Fav 10 1181 5210
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm so glad i pay social security

Fav 17 4559 1182
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(631): View more from New York

life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

Fav 11 904 5882
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(908): View more from New Jersey

how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?

Fav 20 6955 1412
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(406): View more from Montana

K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

Fav 9 1095 1454
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(240): View more from Maryland

Who put my cat in the fridge?

Fav 0 22 79
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