Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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