Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think I won the penis lottery.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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