Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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