I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
