Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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