You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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