Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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