Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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