I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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