So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
