If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
