your parents love me but you hate me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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