just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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