I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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