Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
