dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
