He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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