I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
