Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
