so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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