Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize