im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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