Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
