If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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