I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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