She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
