Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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