it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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