Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
