How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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