She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
