When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
