you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
