you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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