She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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