i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Even my vagina gasped.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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