You're my little dorito
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
