my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
