Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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