The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
