I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
